Withdrawal?

It's in me, reignited.

But that's definitely not what i want. i guess it's just me in denial state.

i had enough of monotonous life and i want something wild to pump my blood up once more.

to risk big to win big. but at the same time to lose big.

it's reflected in my actions, my thoughts, my everything. i want to win big but im taking the safe route. there is nothing wrong with it, it's just the imbalance that i feel at times.

i want to do something wild. if it's not this it has to be something else. What?

Maybe i just want to proof to myself i have it in me. i have.

Is it me? Or is it the matter? or is it the time?

maybe i should stop thinking.